Monday, March 21, 2005

A View From Someone Who Knew

While cleaning out my garage this weekend, I came across a love letter, written to me almost 20 years ago. I needed to see this and to help make certain I never lose it again, I am putting it up here. I'll tuck the letter away for safe keeping, but it might take another 20 years to find it again. Hopefully, this will make it last forever. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent and to keep the mystery alive.)

Dear Kate,

It's so very sad that when you are lucky enough to find a good soul in this world, then love is so very easy, but emotions are harder to define. You are a beautiful soul. Van Gogh, Mozart, Einstein, Hellen Keller and Albert Schwitzer are in good company with you. They were restless and caring souls, sensitive, very good and kind. But most people never saw their true inner goodness. I see those same inner goodnesses in you.

I feel very lucky to have been able to touch that goodness in some small way. The world is so cruel and unfair. Sensitive souls can feel for other people so easily. I see that so easily in you. You are a sensitive and kind soul. That's something you should never compromise. But to be fair to other people, you must be fair with yourself.

There is a beautiful light that shines inside you Kate. When I see that light fade out, it saddens me. I feel very lucky to have seen it. I hope others will be lucky enough to see what I saw and felt from you. Regardless of what happened between us, you touched my life in a wonderful way. I've always seen the beauty in you. Your bright eyes that showed a pureness of mind, that seemed clouded by the cruelness of the true world. I love THAT Kate so very deeply.

You have had a man's total love. My love. You are a loving soul. I think that is why the world gets to you so easily. You become hurt and offended. I'm so sorry. I wish they could all see. I wish that I had been stronger for you. I failed you. But I didn't fail myself.

I hope some of this makes sense. Remember this man who once loved you with all of his heart. His head just wasn't strong enough. Our lives once became one. You are part of my life forever. There is no going back. No changing history. Your soul has touched mine and for that I will always be grateful. I will love you forever.

Thanks for reading this and for understanding.

Love Always,
S.T.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Kate Tracy Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

So Howard Dean Thinks I Am Evil?

My fear and loathing of Terry McAuliffe, former head of the DNC and political parasite was finally coming to a long awaited end when he left his post a couple of weeks ago. (I'm sure he has already taken the prime office space in Hillary's headquarters, wherever they may by, charting her course for 2008.) Rational, reasonable people (Republicans and Zell Miller Democrats) were hoping for a kinder and gentler DNC head. Instead they took the gold paved road and went with the money man rather than a man of character or decency or frankly any common sense when it comes to dealing with the common man.

So yesterday, Dean was with a gathering of supporters in Kansas and he declared that Republicans are evil. "This is a struggle of good and evil and we're the good" Dean said to thunderous applause. He also said something along the lines of Republicans are intolerant and he isn't going to let anyone tell him about tolerance. Well Howard ~ I know how you hate the South, but sit your Ivy League butt down and let me tell you about tolerance and Republicans, well about this Republican mostly.

Not that it should matter, but Howard, I am not a Christian. I've never spent a day of my life being a Christian and while I support Christians (and any other normal religion, ie; ones that don't believe I should die) I can't for the life of me figure out why people like you can't understand people like me.

I've been a Republican since I was 10 and while I do admit to being a very emotional child, even I still don't understand my adverse reaction when Jimmy Carter won the Presidency. I cried and cried for days. (The same thing happened with Clinton almost 20 years later, but at least I understood why I was crying then.) Don't blame my parents. They never spoke of who they voted for. I would imagine most of my extended farm raised, Baptist bread family were Democrats in their time. They would be so ashamed of you guys now. Much like Zell Miller I suppose.

I can't find a lick of reasoning behind being a Democrat and I have never once considered you to be my enemy. I always liked the balance of thought in our country and believed our system of government was working as it should. Even when my side lost, I still believed that you were just misguided and we would win again another time.

Now you want to turn it into an epic battle between good and evil? And I am on the evil side? You just declared war with me my friend and I can tell you now, it aint gonna be pretty. Go ahead, try to tell me how President Bush started this good vs. evil line of thinking. See Howard, that applies to people who want me to die because I don't see things the way they do. I am good. They are evil. Killing innocent civilians is evil. Defending freedom is good. Comparing our President to the most hideous monster of modern times is evil. Agreeing to disagree is good.

Be careful of throwing that word around and coloring people like me with it because I can assure you dear Howard that I am most certainly not evil, although I am a Republican. And, I am a woman. Watch me roar you silly, silly fool.

Monday, February 28, 2005

My Foundation and Bible

As with the beginning of so many new things in my life, I begin this journey on the internet blogosphere by posting what has been my bible, my philosophy of life and the most quoted piece of work I use to get through my days. Most people of my generation have seen it in their lives before. I first saw it at a planetarium when I was 12 and was so moved by it that I found a copy of it and committed it to memory within days. It is with me always and a fine beginning here...

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant, for they too have a story. Avoid loud and agressive persons, for they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare youself with others, you will become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interest in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection, neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the council of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and lonliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the Universe. No less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever labors and aspirations , in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann